Secret Societies
by 3iNSANEMiNDS
Summary: A funny oneshot about Rowena Ravenclaw and Lily Evans. It tells about Rowena's near miss with death by Rubber Bats, and Lily Evans losing her mind. Not to mention it includes juggling marauders, and a weatherman Ron. Beware of Plot Holes


_**Secret Societies**_

By: 3insaneminds

a.k.a. Jackie, Freddie, and I

**Disclaimer:** We stole so many different things from so many different people in this fic that I don't even want to get into it. Let's just say that if you recognize it, it more than likely isn't ours… well, except for Sierra and Danielle and you'd only recognize them if you read 'Amazing Doodles in Grace's Notebook'.

**WARNING: _Beware of Plot Holes_**

Across the wide country of England, a secret society exists in the shadows. They are called the 'Rolling Stones' Clever, eh? Their job was of utmost importance; without those brave souls, the wizarding world as it was known would be over.

One day, after a very long and boring lawsuit, they changed their name to the Order and the Pheasants. Then, they decided that three people were going to quit the group and make a band called the 'Rolling Stones' (they didn't want to change the name).

However, before the name changing, heck before they even _had_ a name, a young girl named Rowena Ravenclaw stumbled into a meeting, for which the punishment was death. So, they grabbed a bunch of rubber bats and began to beat her, but before they could kill her, she apparated away with a 'pop'! But, all of a sudden, she reappeared right onto the leader of the group's head, and knocked him unconscious.

"Oops," Rowena scrambled to her feet and ran out the door, cursing Godric for telling her to go into the room; but, hey, now she had proof for Helga that Godric was trying to kill her. Or at least give her a very large headache. (He was doing a good job on the latter)

"I'm going to Kill Godric," muttered Rowena distractedly, about ten minutes later. She was now standing in the middle of a field that she'd never seen before in her life and all because she hadn't been paying attention. Rowena narrowed her eyes evilly, cursing Godric with all her being.

Suddenly, James Potter and Sirius Black walked in, both juggling flaming torches and wearing top-hats.

"Who are you?" they asked simultaneously.

"Never mind that now, be careful of the fi—" Rowena had been eying the torches apprehensively, praying to God that they wouldn't drop one, but no such luck. They did and the grass field started on fire; Rowena raised her eyes to the heavens. Today was not her day. So, she pulled out her time-turner and made it the next day.

Everyone around her was crying and she sat up… well, at least she tried to, but there were hospital bands around her. Rowena vaguely wondered why her life was so horrible, but then decided that she didn't really care. So, she told everyone to go form a new secret society so that if an evil lord comes, they can fight. Thus, the Order of Ye Old Magical Songbirds ect. was born! Yay!

Lily woke up with a start. What a _weird_ dream; there had to have been about ten secret societies, a dead founder and juggling marauders. Ick!

She got out of bed and realized she was ten minutes late for potions, so she grabbed her backpack, but before she could leave, her wand flew out of her bag, hit the wall, bounced off the ceiling and hit her bed, which burst into a fiery mass of fire. Danielle ran into the room, out of breath.

"Forgot my—oh my gosh! WHAT THE HECK?" Lily looked at her bed, then Danielle.

"Nothing! This never happened. It was the Marauders! Remember that," Lily instructed, leading a shocked Danielle down the stairs, just in time to hear a very familiar voice yell,

"THEY'RE FISH?"

"Uh oh," muttered Lily, "Didn't we… didn't we already do this?" Lily asked uncertainly.

"Do what?" Danielle asked blankly.

"You know exactly what I mean! We tried to prank the Marauders and they heard me yelling in the bathroom! Then they got us!" Lily screamed, starting to have a mental break down. Then, she tripped, and her time turner fell out from her robes. Suddenly, she remembered.

"Oh, no!"

Danielle raised her eyebrows expectantly.

"Wait for it… 3…2…1…" said Lily. Just then the common room burst into…

"Not flame but ice, I know already!" Lily interrupted, even though she couldn't hear the narration.

"Okay, that was… freaky. Explain yourself," said Danielle.

Lily blinked, held up her time turner then said, "James Potter is so dead it's not even funny," She ran down the stairs in a rage, when suddenly, she heard a loud explosion and Sirius's voice.

"Oops,"

Lily ran back up the stairs because she knew she'd have to clean up otherwise.

Danielle looked at Lily, "Lily, are you okay? Maybe you should go to the Hospital Wing…"

"No! I'm not cleaning the common room again! I won't!" Lily shrieked, "AND THE MARAUDERS DO NOT DIVIDE FRACTIONS!"

"I'm going to go get Dumbledore immediately," said Danielle worriedly.

"NO! You'll have to clean up too! Don't do it!" Lily shrieked, burying her head in her hands. "I'm reliving my sixth year all over again. It's going to kill me!"

"What's wrong with 6th year?" Danielle asked.

"'It's boring!' yelled Mr. K."

"Who's Mr. K?" asked Danielle to Lily, who just realized that she said, '"It's boring" yelled Mr. K'.

"Holy Crap," Lily moaned, "Next I'll forget England's an island."

But, before she could, Lily heard her past self yelling as her fuzzy purple blanket was destroyed once again.

"England's an island?" muttered Danielle.

"Yes! Yes, you blubbering idiot, England's an island! I'm about to go crazy!" Lily shrieked. And she ran down the stairs, screaming. She past Sierra the green pig and tripped over Snape the goose. Lily ran toward the entrance hall as the castle reflected scenes of her sixth year. As she reached the grounds, she disappeared.

Six years later, she reappeared in Florida. AT DISENEY WORLD! Yay! Lily sighed happily, she was in heaven. Suddenly, a little boy tugged at her hand.

"Gimme candy,"

"No,"

"Gimme candy!"

"No," Lily repeated. The little boy grew into a giant monster and ate Lily whole. Then, the green pig (Sierra) turned into the giant from Jack and the beanstalk, and ate the little boy.

Ginerva Molly Weasley woke up with a scream. Just kidding, it was really Ron waking up, but, just to make Nicole happy, Ginny woke up. But just to make Lindsey happy, Ron woke up. Oh, forget this! No one woke up!

Lily got eaten by a little boy turned giant, the giant by a girl turned green pig, turned bigger giant and there are currently no main characters left. _Now_ what?

Harry found all six horcurxes, married Ginny, defeated Voldemort, and lived happily forever in Spain. Ron didn't. He died an old, ugly weatherman. Fat too! Hermione never got over it.

And that is why secrets are no fun, Especially secret societies.

A/N: And there you go. The three one-shots. We also have another one somewhere, but I don't know where. It's really funny, and the first one-shot we ever wrote. It doesn't even include any inside jokes! Anyway, readers of Amazing Doodles in Grace's Notebook, I am _so_ sorry I haven't uploaded any more chapters! I'm going to do that really soon! Promise! Anywho, please, oh please, oh please, please, please review and tell us what you think! Thanks!

Love Always,

I


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